Giving Your Family the Gift of Contentment
“Would my family and friends call me a contented, happy person?”... I think you would agree this is a rather intimidating question, especially if we dare to be brutally honest. (Definitely not my favorite hobby!)
The problem is real: many times what we think we are communicating to those around us is NOT WHAT THEY ARE FEELING! This is key for parents because children know when they are a disappointment or embarrassment. For every boy and girl the need to be VALUED and TREASURED by their family is very real and deeply connected to their self-worth, identity, emotional well-being and security.
As parents, we must answer this key question to make sure our own emotional state is not feeding this attack on our children: “Are we content to be where we are and who we are now?”
Every parent has the power to “gift” their child with a secure perspective of life by modeling an attitude of contentment and gratitude versus constant dissatisfaction with their own circumstances and accomplishments (or their children's!). I could feel the peace literally transfer to my children when they watched me “hold steady” when I had a bad day and things were falling apart (no one wants to be observed or scrutinized in those precious moments). And sadly, I could also see my times of irritation and frustration affect their emotions and confidence.
Our boys grew up playing sports (so did the girls briefly...& pitifully, I might add. Sorry girls! Possibly you didn’t take it seriously...maybe?). My coach/husband was relentless in verbalizing and living out this liberating commitment to our young athletes (our girls included):
“Your value nor my pleasure in you NEVER diminishes or increases by your performance as a player!”
Consequently, his actions and attitudes confirmed again and again to our children that we were happy (and content!) to be living our lives together and they were TREASURED FOREVER in our hearts (championship or NO championship) - NO PRESSURE! What a GIFT to give our children. It actually releases them to enjoy learning and growing while encouraging them do their best on the field, in the classroom, on the playground or even in life, as an adult. Honestly, I have observed in my own life that contentment is a gift not only to our families, but to ourselves! For me, I’m thinking it’s one of the best gifts ever!
How do you relieve the crazy competition pressure trap at your house? How do we lead our children to have an inner peace and purpose? We start by making peace with our lives, choosing to be grateful, and determining to do our best and give our best while treasuring our loved ones.
Have a great week! You’re in my thoughts ❤️
----------
Never Give Up!
DeAnza Duron